Friday, June 14, 2013

People Watch: The Perks of Being a Wallflower


“It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”

This is my favorite quote and it’s something Bill is saying to Charlie. I explained it in my previous post, but this is a really interesting observation. Sometimes I would use thought as an excuse to not be productive. Thought really is a passive leisure activity though, like TV. You may be learning (or not) from your thoughts, but if you don’t do anything with your thoughts, they’re useless. If you want to be a philosopher, write your ideas down and share them with the world.

 

“’He’s my whole world.’

‘Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.’ That was my mom.”

This is reflective of Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism. Her philosophy says that we should live for no man and ask no man to live for us. In a way, she’s right. We should live for ourselves. However, you can’t take this philosophy too far like Howard Roarke did. The reason I hated “The Fountainhead” and stopped in the middle of it is because Keating couldn’t make decisions himself and Roarke was a cold rapist (yes, he did rape his girlfriend) that needed to learn to interact with people. You can’t live like Howard Roarke. You have to interact with people if you ever want to reach your goals. Despite what Kant would have us believe, it’s impossible to NOT ever use people as a means to an end. Just understand that you have to help others reach their goals too.

You should live for yourself, but live through the world. That’s participating in life. You can’t cut yourself off from people like Roarke did and call that living.

Okay, soapbox over! J

 

“Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.”

It’s true that if we have lousy self-esteem, we’re going to get lousy lovers. I don’t know…I think love is more complicated than this. Sometimes it’s not about self-esteem, it’s about how you can love someone all you want, but you can’t make them love you back. However, what I think this is saying is that we deserve someone who loves us back, but if we don’t let that person that doesn’t love you back go, then we can’t ever find or see the person who does love us back. If we can’t have that person who doesn’t love us back, then we go without love or we settle for second best. What’s important though, is that you tell/show the people you love that you love them. It’s like what Sam was saying to Charlie at the end of the book. If they don’t love you back, so be it. At least you know. There’s other fish in the sea, and you can let this one go.

 

“I just think it’s bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is.”

I thought this quote was really interesting. I agree that the beauty of photographs and art comes from the subjects and not the artist. A camera lens doesn’t create beauty, it captures it in a unique way. We all offer different perspectives of a person or object, but the person/object being observed is beautiful, not the way we observe them/it.

 

“I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me.”

Happiness is only relevant if it’s what you’re feeling at the moment. You can’t compare it to anything else. It’s easy to fall victim to nostalgia and believe that the present has all these problems compared to the past, but the past had its problems too.

 

The following quote is paraphrased. “You know that moment when you feel not alone? When you understand that other people think the same thing about a person you love, that many other people have read the same books that you have and come to the same understanding about them? Sometimes it’s comforting, but sometimes it just pisses you off.

“I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do.” –Charlie on being called special. It’s interesting how sometimes we want to feel special and how sometimes we want to feel connected. I noticed that people usually want to feel connected about bad things (oh, other people have gotten in trouble, not just me) and they want to feel special about good things (no one else feels the same way that I do about The Fountainhead). Sometimes the bad things just take over and you need to be reminded about the good things that make you special.

 

“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.”

Everybody suffers and no suffering is ever trivial. There may be kids in China dying of starvation, but you still have to take care of yourself and make your life better.

 



            Some people just never learn to deal with their rock, I guess.

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