After
watching and reading about zombies, I would say I’m very much an expert on the
ways of the zombie. Read on to learn about my observations.
Be
really fast. If you can run fast, great, but it’s better to have a jet plane or
sports car…Zombies hate fast food, and you’ll be able to make your getaway in
style.
Crossbows
are better than guns. You see, zombies are attracted to noise and the sound of
gunshots is annoying as the Mexican Hat Dance to zombies. Like us, they
immediately run to shut off that stereo AND the person stupid enough to play
the song. You want LESS zombies, not more so put away the gun for when you
really need it.
Be
afraid of dark and creepy buildings. Zombies don’t like the wide open sky—it scares
them. Plus, have you learned nothing from horror movies such as 28 Days Later (oh boy, what a crappy
film)? Dark and creepy places are a big no-no.
When
all else fails, go UP. Zombies are a little like drunk people—they go down. If
you find that the streets are crowded with zombies, high buildings are always
best to hide out in.
Do
you have any other observations? Leave a comment! FYI, just so you know, I am
just a zombie scholar…I wouldn’t survive two minutes in a zombie apocalypse. J
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