The Cool Girl

I have never had a boyfriend. Okay, I had one, but I don’t really count that guy. Although it’s true that I don’t really want a boyfriend and probably never will want one, a guy has still never asked me out. Sometimes guys even tell me the reasons why. The most common one is this, “you’re too smart for me.” Once I was labeled, “undateable”. That guy never told me why, but I can guess why. Most guys think I’m boring because I’d rather watch a documentary on The Higgs Boson instead of a football game. Other guys don’t want to “ruin” me because they think I’m so innocent and pure.

 

In other words, I am not “the cool girl”. What is “the cool girl”? Why, I have a list for you right here:

 

1.      Sexy physique.

2.      Eats pizza and hamburgers (anyone else think this is a contradiction?!) and likes to drink beer.

3.      Loves to watch football and play video games.

4.      “Cool” enough to hang out with “the guys”.

5.      Loves “South Park” and crude jokes.

6.      Not emotional. Calm, down-to-earth, and not jealous.

7.      I think you get the picture and let me tell you, finding a girl with all of these qualities is highly improbable.

 

Now, I’m not saying that being a “cool girl” is bad! If you are a woman who likes video games, South Park, and McDonalds hamburgers, good for you! I am just saying that it’s wrong for men to expect this of women, and it’s not good for a woman to try to fit these expectations instead of just being the person she is. I guarantee you; a woman is much better being the person she is born to be than being a pretend “cool girl”.

 

I am not sexy. I’m short, overweight, muscular, and my long hair is never combed. I love pizza and hamburgers, but I also have to worry about my expanding waistline. I don’t drink alcohol as I am underage, and when I turn 21, I still won’t drink alcohol. I hate football and “Call of Duty.” I hate “South Park” and crude jokes (don’t get me started on rape jokes). I am a very emotional person with a deep inner life that people think is strange.

 

But I am also adventurous. I like to try new things and meet different people. I work hard, and people often mistake that for obsession, but the people who work with me excel. I love very deeply and if I consider you my friend, then I am loyal and understanding. I like philosophy and I enjoy having philosophical conversations that amount to absolutely nothing. I am intelligent and I love to learn.

 

Of course I have my insecurities, but they don’t consume me, and I don’t try to be someone I’m not because that is the worst thing you can do to yourself. You’ll never be happy and when you look back on your life ten years from now, you’ll regret it or become someone you hate. Once upon a time, I wanted to be the “cool girl”, but that was a path that spiraled down into depression and tears.

 

One of my role models is Taylor Swift, and she is also not a “cool girl”. She writes sappy love songs, wears high heels and dresses, and is a strong woman who is fine being who she is. People accuse her of having too many boyfriends, being jealous and bashing guys, and for her “slutty” wardrobe. I want to scream at them that she has only had six or so boyfriends from the time her first album was released to now, that she has the right to bash her boyfriends that were jerks, and that she can wear what she wants, thank you, thank you very much!

 

Also, some guys prefer their women to be insecure and not strong, which is why they throw all these labels at them. They do it to break them. Check out this piece-of-crap article: http://mattforney.com/2013/09/16/the-case-against-female-self-esteem/ I seriously want to punch this dude! He will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with a woman because he is oppressing all of the meaningful parts of his partner.

 

So women, I am asking you to please stop trying to conform to men’s expectations of you. If you are not a “cool girl”, that’s okay because YOU are probably much better than your idea of what a “cool girl” is. If you are naturally a “cool girl”, well, then that’s cool! J Men, the qualities of your perfect woman cannot be listed like quite a few of you assume. You may think you want a “cool girl” with a low self-esteem, but if you expect that from a woman, then the relationship will most likely be shallow and meaningless. There’s a saying that you don’t get to choose who you love, and I think there’s some truth in it. The person you end up loving the most usually does not match the qualities you listed on your Facebook status—and that’s probably the reason you love that person.