I
have never had a boyfriend. Okay, I had one, but I don’t really count that guy.
Although it’s true that I don’t really want a boyfriend and probably never will want one,
a guy has still never asked me out. Sometimes guys even tell me the reasons
why. The most common one is this, “you’re too smart for me.” Once I was
labeled, “undateable”. That guy never told me why, but I can guess why. Most
guys think I’m boring because I’d rather watch a documentary on The Higgs Boson
instead of a football game. Other guys don’t want to “ruin” me because they
think I’m so innocent and pure.
In
other words, I am not “the cool girl”. What is “the cool girl”? Why, I have a
list for you right here:
1.
Sexy
physique.
2.
Eats
pizza and hamburgers (anyone else think this is a contradiction?!) and likes to
drink beer.
3.
Loves
to watch football and play video games.
4.
“Cool”
enough to hang out with “the guys”.
5.
Loves
“South Park” and crude jokes.
6.
Not
emotional. Calm, down-to-earth, and not jealous.
7.
I
think you get the picture and let me tell you, finding a girl with all of these
qualities is highly improbable.
Now,
I’m not saying that being a “cool girl” is bad! If you are a woman who likes
video games, South Park, and McDonalds hamburgers, good for you! I am just
saying that it’s wrong for men to expect this of women, and it’s not good for a
woman to try to fit these expectations instead of just being the person she is.
I guarantee you; a woman is much better being the person she is born to be than
being a pretend “cool girl”.
I
am not sexy. I’m short, overweight, muscular, and my long hair is never combed.
I love pizza and hamburgers, but I also have to worry about my expanding
waistline. I don’t drink alcohol as I am underage, and when I turn 21, I still
won’t drink alcohol. I hate football and “Call of Duty.” I hate “South Park”
and crude jokes (don’t get me started on rape jokes). I am a very emotional
person with a deep inner life that people think is strange.
But
I am also adventurous. I like to try new things and meet different people. I
work hard, and people often mistake that for obsession, but the people who work
with me excel. I love very deeply and if I consider you my friend, then I am
loyal and understanding. I like philosophy and I enjoy having philosophical
conversations that amount to absolutely nothing. I am intelligent and I love to
learn.
Of
course I have my insecurities, but they don’t consume me, and I don’t try to be
someone I’m not because that is the worst thing you can do to yourself. You’ll
never be happy and when you look back on your life ten years from now, you’ll
regret it or become someone you hate. Once upon a time, I wanted to be the
“cool girl”, but that was a path that spiraled down into depression and tears.
One
of my role models is Taylor Swift, and she is also not a “cool girl”. She
writes sappy love songs, wears high heels and dresses, and is a strong woman
who is fine being who she is. People accuse her of having too many boyfriends,
being jealous and bashing guys, and for her “slutty” wardrobe. I want to scream
at them that she has only had six or so boyfriends from the time her first
album was released to now, that she has the right to bash her boyfriends that
were jerks, and that she can wear what she wants, thank you, thank you very
much!
Also,
some guys prefer their women to be insecure and not strong, which is why they
throw all these labels at them. They do it to break them. Check out this
piece-of-crap article: http://mattforney.com/2013/09/16/the-case-against-female-self-esteem/
I seriously want to punch this dude! He will never be able to have a meaningful
relationship with a woman because he is oppressing all of the meaningful parts
of his partner.
So
women, I am asking you to please stop trying to conform to men’s expectations
of you. If you are not a “cool girl”, that’s okay because YOU are probably much
better than your idea of what a “cool girl” is. If you are naturally a “cool
girl”, well, then that’s cool! J Men, the qualities
of your perfect woman cannot be listed like quite a few of you assume. You may
think you want a “cool girl” with a low self-esteem, but if you expect that
from a woman, then the relationship will most likely be shallow and
meaningless. There’s a saying that you don’t get to choose who you love, and I
think there’s some truth in it. The person you end up loving the most usually
does not match the qualities you listed on your Facebook status—and that’s
probably the reason you love that person.
