High Expectations

Today, the Gally Aqua Bison had a swim meet, in which I swam the 200 IM, 100 Back, and 100 Free in the 400 relay. We were all whipped back into shape after a long break during Hell Week, where we had two 2 hour practices a day. It wasn't really Hell since I was one of the few that actually practiced during the break.

I also did really well during Hell Week. I certainly improved, I know I did so I set goals for the meet: I wanted to go under three minutes for the 200 IM (my previous time was 3:05). I also had a goal for the 100 Back to go under 1:20 (my previous time was 1:21). I didn't really have a goal for the 100 Free except to just swim fast, whoo hoo! They seemed reasonable because after all, I had been doing so well in practice.

For the 200 IM, I ended up getting a time of 3:03 and for the 100 Back, I ended up getting a time of 1:20. My goals were not accomplished even though my times did go down. I should have been happy, but instead, I was very dissapointed in myself. I was working my ass off in practice and my body did not deliver.

I understand that my body is not normal and that it takes so much longer for me to dispay improvement than a normal person because of my disease. That's why I work harder than most of my teammates. Still...I was very dissapointed in myself. It makes me wonder if I set expectations that are way too high. I want to break a record by my senior year, which means I'll have to drop 55 seconds from my 200 IM time, and like, 25 seconds from my 100 Back time. Things aren't looking up for me right now even though I have been dropping seconds at each meet.

My high expectations don't apply to just swimming, but life. I want my Ph.D, I want to swim the English Channel, become a published author, and so many other things...But am I getting my hopes up?

I certainly hope not. Those things are the things I want to do though, and in order to reach those goals, I will do what I have done my entire life: work hard.

For the upcoming meet, I will be swimming the 200 Fly...I have a goal: (3:29), and I intend to reach that goal.

A quick shout out to all my teammates: you all kicked ass out there today, and I am proud of you all!