The Fault In My Stars

I am convinced that John Green is the best writer that has ever lived. Faulkner, Shakespeare, and Hemingway have nothing on him.

I have just read his amazing book, The Fault In Our Stars, which is about kids with cancer. I could go on to tell you the whole plot, but just click on this link: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11870085-the-fault-in-our-stars

Yeah, it's a cancer book. The topic's been done to death, but yet it's not a cancer book. It's a book about making your mark on the world, making sure you mean something. Making my mark on the world has been an issue I've been struggling with for a while now. I have dreams, and as I told John Green in my fan letter to him, I have deadlines for those dreams.

Some of those dreams have not come true yet or they just died. One of my dreams was to go to Duke University, but I didn't get in. I also hoped to be agented or something by now, but I'm not.

Some would look at me like I'm crazy saying, "You have lots of time to make your dreams come true, why do you need deadlines?"

Here's what I say to them: some infinities are bigger than other infinities (as John Green says). Some of us have more time, some of us don't. I am here on bought time. As a little kid, I was pretty sick. I had lungs that sucked at being lungs (like Hazel's) and there were many times when I could have died. Now, I'm considerably healthy. I have muscles that sort of suck at being muscles due to a muscular disease, but I am doing pretty damn well.

Still though, I have a muscular disease. That will shorten my life span. The heart is a muscle and if my disease decides to attack it, I'm done for. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. I'm sure as hell going to squeeze a bigger infinity into my smaller one.

Augustus wrote to Hazel, "I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."

I've made some choices that I did not like at all in the past year and as a result, I feel bitter and resentful a lot. I think the message John Green was trying to convey was: if you like the choices you make, you will be happy and you will have made your mark on the world in your own unique way.

I guess that was the fault in my stars. (metaphor! Stars are choices.) I don't like all the choices I have made so I'm unhappy.

So I am going to start liking my choices.