Homecoming Failure

All week there were festivities to celebrate homecoming. On specific days you could dress like a superhero, find a partner and dress alike for twin day, and wear a silly hat. The other two days you had to wear your class color or wear NMSD colors. I got caught up in the hype and I made sure to dress up for every single day. My favorites were superhero day, where I dressed like Violet from "The Incredibles," and twin day, where I dressed the same as my stuffed animal, "The Cat and the Hat."

As SBG President, I had to sign the "Star Spangled Banner" for the football game. I wanted to sing and everybody was fine with that. I practiced in my spare time perfecting every note, even the dreaded part, "and the rocket's red glare." That note was the hardest for me, but I eventually perfected it. Then, the moment came when I had to go up there on the football field with my microphone and the four boys that were signing the song. I was so nervous that my voice trembled occasionally, but I tried my best to keep my voice steady. I kept telling myself not to fail the high note, and I did. I failed. When I squeaked, I put my hand to my forehead and continued, rushing off the field hiding my face when I finished the song.

So the moral of the whole day: there is a fine line between dauntless and reckless, bravery and stupidity. I crossed into reckless and stupid territory. I should have just retreated into the safety of my own kind where there is silence and the people are expected to be silent as well. However, I wallowed. I got myself a fry bread and a root beer float, both laden with calories that I shouldn't be eating. I'm supposed to be on a diet so after my gorge-a-thon, I hated myself even more.

There was a homecoming dance at 7:30 and it sucked. Nobody danced, nobody wanted to be my partner in games,and I was TIRED. So I went to bed early. I'm probably overreacting to this entire event, but you know what? I have an excuse. I'm a teenager so therefore, every embarassing and traumatic event is the end of the world. Right? Right? That's a valid excuse!

I try not to be one of those annoying "Gossip Girl" clones that cry at the drop of a hat, but I'm afraid this rant might be Gossip Girl worthy. Is it? If someone says yes, then I know I have absolutely no class. :-P

So, do I have class?

It's Friday!

I got on the train this morning and I had to study for my math test. However, my friend Jessica wanted me to help her do her math (she's doing it for pleasure). While I study my parametric equations, Jessica occasionally interrupts me so I can help her. Today I taught her how to multiply and divide with a calculator. Imagine if she didn't have a calculator.
There was another problem on the train. This little kid didn't want to go to school today so he wailed for fifteen minutes. He was so loud that a dead man could wake up and cover his ears. However, the guy taking care of him, Eric, just gave him his smartphone and he instantly calmed down.
"That's so sad," I tell him.
"I know right?" Eric replies.
"Yep. If there's a problem with the kiddos, consumerism will shut them up." Eric just laughs at that. Seriously though, it's scary to think that nothing will stop a kid from crying but a smartphone. Hugs have been replaced with phones and security blankets by PS3's.
I also got some test results back. I took this test to measure my intelligence and I scored pretty high. I was in the top 5%. The top 1% means you're gifted. I did pretty well though and I'm happy with my results.
"Can you take the test again?" my dad asks.
"But why? I think I did pretty well," I answer.
"You should be in the gifted range," my dad continues. The thing that hurt my test results was that I was slow. I like to take my time to see if the answers are correct, but I should have just done it as fast as I could.
"But I'm not," I say.
"That means the test is wrong."
I blink and don't say anything else. I just wonder if I'll ever be enough for my parents.
Of course, you want to know what's going on with Impala right? Mark, a guy who is probably just slightly smarter, but way more violent than she is, was Impala's boyfriend. Remember that life isn't like math. You can't take a negative and a negative and it will become a positive. Things will just stay negative. However, Mark and Impala broke up today.
"Oh such drama!" I exclaim.
"They should be a TV show," my friend Jaelyn says. We laugh about it and then go on the bus home. On the bus, Mark talks to me.
"Paige, would you be embarrased if you dated me?" Mark signs to me. I just remain silent for a while, shocked.
"Mark, I don't want to date you," I tell him finally. I feel like I have to take a shower afterwards.
You know what's sad though? That I was Mark's rebound girl after Impala. Impala for crying out loud! It just goes to show how low I am on the social food chain. I'm talking zooplankton low. Am I really that undesirable at school? Am I really that hated? You know what's really strange though? I'm happy being on the outside looking in. I don't have all of these relationship problems like some of my friends or god forbid, Mark and Impala. There's none of that added complexity.
I wonder if anyone actually reads this blog.